Dear Oprah,

Today I’m not thinking like a PR flack, who was never able to get a single product past Adam Glassman’s assistant (thanks by the way for helping me grow that hard PR shell rejection after rejection), I’m thinking like the 4 year old girl who sat down one September day with my mom and there you were – ready to change my world!

Now I must ask – when you made this announcement did you think of me … I mean the rest of us? What will I use as a reference for book club? Who will introduce me to a new doctor who will scare the bejesus out of me each Tuesday leaving me convinced I have a tape worm and a brain tumor? Where will Tom Cruise show off the crazy? When will I know if I’m having an “ah-ha” moment? And most importantly WHO will tell me what my favorite things are going to be this season?!?!

I always thought I would have my children continue the obsession your show … once I tricked a man into marrying me of course (you never did a show on that!) … and now you’ve gone and given me a deadline.

Still distraught,

Kristen