Dear Oprah (Part 1)…

Mariah Carey at PRECIOUS Premiere in Hollywood presented by AFI Fest
Dear Oprah:

You had a great career, but you failed in this one regard: You never got that really cool audience “we are so in the moment” thing going. Arsenio’s crowd had their “whoops” and fist pumps and Jerry Springer’s crowd was fond of the “JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!” chants. Your crowd? Nada. Nothing. Just sat there crying or going crazy each time you schleped another sponsor’s product for free.

Boring.

Cheers,

Keith