Tag Archives: dear oprah

Dear Oprah (Part 10)

17th Annual Women In Entertainment Power 100 Breakfast - Arrivals

Dear Oprah,

Thanks for keeping my nannies tied up for an hour but I’m glad you’re going off the air too. Maybe now they’ll finally go get my son from his nap before the end of your program. As a work-from-home mom & PR pro, I have to rely on the nanny to get some work done and soon that will be possible. And do me a favor, kill off O magazine too. I’m sick of clients asking to get their stuff in it. You clearly pick favorites.


Dear Oprah (Part 9)

Oprah Celebrates Susan Taylors 37 Years At Essence Magazine

Note: This one comes from Katie Wall, @GoKTGo.

Dear Oprah,

I feel like I can call you “Oprah” because my roommate in college had a picture of you framed on her wall, which pretty much made us roommates. Thank you always being an inspiration even though you never responded to any of the letters my roommate sent you. I’m glad I will no longer have to deal with you consuming 75% of our DVR because your hour-long show runs so many times per day (in both standard and HD).

I hope that your leaving doesn’t mean that Oprah impersonations will go out of style…ie. “You get a car! And you get a car! And you get a car!” because my heart just isn’t ready to let go yet.

I also hope that your appearance doesn’t start to go just because you won’t be on TV anymore…oh wait…



Dear Oprah (Part 8)…


Today I’m not thinking like a PR flack, who was never able to get a single product past Adam Glassman’s assistant (thanks by the way for helping me grow that hard PR shell rejection after rejection), I’m thinking like the 4 year old girl who sat down one September day with my mom and there you were – ready to change my world!

Now I must ask – when you made this announcement did you think of me … I mean the rest of us? What will I use as a reference for book club? Who will introduce me to a new doctor who will scare the bejesus out of me each Tuesday leaving me convinced I have a tape worm and a brain tumor? Where will Tom Cruise show off the crazy? When will I know if I’m having an “ah-ha” moment? And most importantly WHO will tell me what my favorite things are going to be this season?!?!

I always thought I would have my children continue the obsession your show … once I tricked a man into marrying me of course (you never did a show on that!) … and now you’ve gone and given me a deadline.

Still distraught,


Dear Oprah (Part 7) ….

Barack Obama Is Sworn In As 44th President Of The United States
Dear Oprah,

I’m new to this game, and I don’t work with consumer clients, so I don’t fully understand the pain that you inflict on flacks like us. Really, all that I know about you is that you have a questionable relationship with your best friend Gail and that you make my mom cry when she watches your show. However, come 2011, I’ll be celebrating with PR pros everywhere as your show goes off the air because it makes my friends lives that much easier. Catch ya on Perez I’m sure! (the next time one of your schools hires a convicted pedophile as their headmaster.


Dear Oprah (Part 6)…

Oprah Winfrey, Duke  Universitys 157th Commencement CeremonyDear Oprah,

I remember watching you after school every day beginning in 5th grade. i remember that day in 1986 (when i was in 7th grade) when you came out in that black turtleneck and tight jeans wheeling a huge wagon of fat (67 lbs) behind you. I remember being so grossed out by the fat (and so impressed with your accomplishment and how much emphasis you’ve put on dieting – yo-yo in your case – from then on) that I developed a very strange relationship with food. One that i don’t think I’ll ever be able to change. Because every time I look at a Snickers bar, a bacon cheeseburger or anything with white flour, I think of that wagon of fat and how you gained back all the weight – several times over – whenever you were “off” your diet. So, Oprah, thanks for inspiring me to be on a diet forever. every. single. day. of. my. life.


Dear Oprah (Part 4)….

Oprah Winfrey attends Toronto International Film Festival
Dear Oprah:

I am sure that millions will be sad to see your inspirational show off the air. You’ve touched the hearts of so many people. Good for you! However, as a publicist, I am making it a national holiday. For years, the first thing out of every client’s mouth was “So, can you get us on Oprah?”

I can’t wait until 2011 is here, and I no longer have to deal with that request. Bon Voyage, good luck with your new cable network, and here’s to the day when I can respond “No, because there is no more Oprah Winfrey Show.”

Dear Oprah (part 3)…

The Oprah Winfrey Show: Fridays Live From New York

Dear Oprah:

I never thought you’d have a very large impact on my life. Then I got into the book business.

Oprah, my relationship with you has been very like my relationship with God. At times I felt like I depended on you, that you controlled my life. And then there were times I thought you’d abandoned me altogether.

I will miss you the same way I miss having God in my life. So, take that any way you’d like.

Dear Oprah (Part 1)…

Mariah Carey at PRECIOUS Premiere in Hollywood presented by AFI Fest
Dear Oprah:

You had a great career, but you failed in this one regard: You never got that really cool audience “we are so in the moment” thing going. Arsenio’s crowd had their “whoops” and fist pumps and Jerry Springer’s crowd was fond of the “JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!” chants. Your crowd? Nada. Nothing. Just sat there crying or going crazy each time you schleped another sponsor’s product for free.